“I want to see what you see, come and rearrange me
Let your love be my kaleidoscope.”
Life has a way of throwing unpredictable circumstances at us that we can’t control. We experience loss, broken hearts, and pain beyond words. When I was in junior high, my parents got a divorce. Most people on the outside thought everything was fine, but I remember most days coming home and feeling like I had to walk on eggshells just to get to my room. Home was the last place I wanted to be. So when a friend invited me to youth group with him, I was more than eager to go. And I loved it. I experienced musical worship that would go on for hours at a time, and found it was healing to my heart. It was in those sacred moments that I discovered the real God. A God who cared for me, a God who wasn’t going anywhere, a God in pursuit of my heart.
But did I mention life is unpredictable? Shortly after, my mom was diagnosed with leukemia. And it was as I watched her go through recovery that my faith started to become desperate. Worship through music became my lifeline, the center of gravity for my whole being. Each lyric actually meant something to me. I began to develop intimacy of God, understand and know the compassion of God, and step into the full realization that God was and is my heavenly Father. And that’s where new songs began to flow out of me; cries for help, cries for healing, anthems of restoration.
Remember when you were a kid and you looked through a kaleidoscope and every time you turned it the colors and shapes would change? That’s what worship did for me during a season where it felt like landscape of my life was being ripped up and rearranged. It took what the world saw as broken, and let me see it through the redemptive eyes of God. And that’s what the song ‘Kaleidoscope’ is about— looking at the messed up parts of our lives and seeing hope.
There’s something child-like about faith in general. It takes willingness to look through the lens in the first place, and belief that things can be beautiful again. We need a new perspective, to see the world as God sees it. Somehow in the midst of our pain and brokenness we need eyes to see God’s redemptive plan.
We worship a God who comes down to us. Who walks with us, suffered for us, and let his heart break for us. Worship creates an arena for us to lift that lens to our weary eyes and let the brilliance of God’s redemptive plan in.